Life is all about change and sometimes it’s good, it brings movement… and, sometimes it’s scary and one can easily freeze up.
I was living in a two bedroom apartment share with a guy roommate. “Share” meaning, I didn’t know the person beforehand. Like, we shared the space, shared the rent, but we weren’t besties. We got along well enough, but… you get it.
We’d been sharing the same roof for three years, but our bedrooms were far enough from each other that he was more like a neighbor. But, one night he stopped by my bedroom to talk to me.
He didn’t even get a chance to start, before I blurted out, “Do you want me to move out??”
Coincidentally, I was in my room “nesting.” I had the door open so I could get a good look, I had gotten a new floor lamp and was rearranging things. I greeted him, “Oh, hello Collin! I have a new lamp.”
He responded, saying, “That’s nice. Come here, I want to talk to you.” His expression was very soft, he was easing into something. So, again, I was like, “Do you want to talk to me about moving out??”
Like, you can tell when something is up.
He sat down. Asked me to sit down. And, said, “Me and Alanna want to live together. We could find a new place. But you’d need to find a roommate. Or, you could move out. It’s up to you.”
I was in good spirits, no big deal, like, “It’s okay, Collin! I’m having a good week. My coping skills are strong.” Seriously, I don’t know why I talk like this? I speak like I’m quoting my therapist’s analysis that week, except I don’t have one.
It was his apartment first, and I moved in. So, it was obvious I’d be the one to leave. I followed-up with Collin, saying, “I think it’s time for me to go, anyway.” He looked a little put off. I explained, “No, no. It’s not you. Thank you for having me, it’s just, it’s just… well, me and [insert name of ex] are done. He lives two blocks away. I can SEE his apartment from here (not really, but if I stood on the roof). It’s good timing.”
Here’s the kicker. After the brief convo, Collin asked me, “How did you know what I was going to say?” He had said a few things, so I asked him to narrow it down. He meant about moving out.
“Oh, because your nesting.”
Collin was my guy roommate, so nesting may not be in his vocabulary (?). I explained, “Oh, well, there’s a poster of Alanna in the living room. And you’ve put up shelves (also in the living room) with a bunch of pictures of her.”
Mind you, Alanna didn’t live at the apartment. So, I kind of got the idear…
It really wasn’t a big deal. I understood. But, there’s a but: moving can really suck.
I did have a moment of weakness, saying, “Don’t you want all three of us to live together!!” Collin was so sweet and replied, “We did talk about that, but it would be crowded.”
I was completely teasing, and reassured him, “No, no. You two are in love, you need your space.”
Looking back, I was pretty much Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids when her brother-sister duo roommates asked her to “Can you not live here anymore?”
I closed the door to my room. Hopped on CraigsList.org and started looking for apartments right then and there. I sent out five emails. Woke up the next morning at 7am and checked my email from bed.
But, it was still early. By the time I got to work I had received a response to my response. I was like, “Please be the two girls in their 30s. Please be the two girls in their 30s.”
We did a little exchange via email on Friday, set up an appointment for that Monday.
And, that’s how I ended up in a halfway house for single women… not really.
If you want to find out what I mean by that, look for the next post.